Seagull

You may have thought your chips were safe
from theft as you shovel them into your face,
but I feel obliged to let you know
that I have an informant, a local crow.

He's been keeping tabs on your daily routine
paying close attention to your choice of cuisine -
and now your chips look simply divine
(mainly as they will shortly be mine).

Needless to say, I'll be willing to share
with other gulls if they trade a gummy bear -
keeping connections is good for business,
and incurs more profit from gifts of Guinness.

You see, there's a network of birds around town,
Conspiring and plotting to knock your food down;
we really appreciate your lack of security,
despite our shortfall of deliberate obscurity.

Anyway, back to the task at hand -
those chips need more salt, they look so bland...
Wait, what's this, you've eaten them all?!
Typical greedy human.
I'll just have to settle for the polystyrene container.