Dear Reginald

Dear Reginald, my most favourite tortoise,
I wonder how you've been?
It's been many a year
Since we last talked over a beer
And I do hope you're keeping yourself well.

Do you have plenty of lettuce?
Artichokes, geraniums, marigolds, kale?
Have you been avoiding that rhubarb crumble,
Which you so enjoyed when you were young,
But damages your liver, kidney and heart?

I'm sure you are, since you're a sensible chap,
But I do just like to make sure.
And filing your nails on rocks? -
But what I am I saying, of course you do!

Reginald, you really are a star,
And I won't pester you any more.
But are you also staying hydrated?
Sorry, I know you are.

And how's your owner, Julie?
Is she getting on well?
Feeding you lots, taking you to the vets?
And does she have any other pets?
I hope her children are doing well in school.

Well, I hope to see you soon,
And have a nice catch up talk.
Do let me know when you're available.
I do so hope you've grown!
Kind regards, from your dear mother Joan.